hmmm.

you know how you wait.
and wait.
and wait.
for a day to come
a day that brings something exciting and big
or even one that brings something simple and small.
very soon i will come to one of those days in my life
i have 5 more days.
just 5 more.
i watched nick
then anna
then katie
all receive their licenses
one after another
i thought this day would never come
now it is a some what strange 5 days away.
scary actually.
today as i rode the bus home for one of the last official times
i got all teary eyed
i thought of the things i would lose when this day comes.
no longer will every morning start with a ride into to town with my dad
usually he makes jokes and talks to me as i sit idle in the passenger seat, not quite awake
sometimes he makes the birds of the sky have voices
and almost everyday we point out the old couple that hobbles down the street
wednesday mornings usually involve a discussion about Parenthood, our favorite show...
then i caught myself thinking about elementary school
my dad would pull off main street and say, "Dr. Smith reporting for surgery" as i gave him a kiss, on his puffed out cheek, and hopped out the door.
i still give him that kiss, every morning,
and its followed by one from him onto my rosy cheek
i am not ashamed of my fathers love.
i thought about how i won't always get to sleep in the backseat on the way home anymore
and how responsible i will have to be driving my friends places.
it worries me a bit.
like i am losing a tiny piece of my childhood
and taking a giant leap
you know i will most likely love driving
and yes i will be safe
but when i imagined this day so many years ago
i never thought of it as a loss.
which i am now realizing in a way it is
one more way that the simpleness of life is slipping through my fingers into the chaos of this giant earth we call home.